Transforming Life’s “What Ifs” Into a Plan

Story and photo by Eddie Roach, VillagesOKC Member/Volunteer

In the Oklahoma City metro, a unique workshop is transforming how families approach aging and life transitions. It’s called The GIFT™, and it’s not a product of meticulous market research or a calculated business venture. Instead, it’s a testament to the power of a mother’s foresight, a daughter’s ingenuity, and the universal need for organized care.
Marilyn Olson, a seasoned caregiver, knew firsthand the chaos and stress that often accompany navigating complex life changes. Years of experience, particularly acting as Power of Attorney (POA) for her beloved Aunt Jessie, revealed a critical gap: the absence of a comprehensive, user-friendly system for managing essential information.
“I knew what was needed, but I often couldn’t find it,” Marilyn recalls. The scattered documents, the frantic searches for vital details, the constant feeling of being unprepared – it was a familiar struggle. Enter her daughter Dana, who offered a simple yet profound solution. “What you need is a three-ring binder.”
And so, The GIFT™ began – though it would be several years before it was available to a larger audience of individuals faced with similar caregiver challenges.
Dana meticulously compiled a binder containing everything Marilyn repeatedly needed: legal names, dates of birth, social security numbers, insurance information, medical histories, current medications, and signed POA forms. This organized repository became Marilyn’s lifeline, a tangible tool that brought order to the often-disorienting world of caregiving.
“Because I used the notebook she created but often disrupted the organization of the binder on the road, Dana would put the binder back in order adding the new information after a trip or two,” Marilyn explains. This act of care, a daughter’s unwavering support, laid the foundation for a resource that would later benefit countless others.
The binder, initially a personal solution, evolved into a shared resource. Marilyn and Dana realized they weren’t alone in their struggles. “Our work became an outline which we shared with others in the same caregiver decision-maker situation,” Marilyn says.
It provided particular help to what has been called the “sandwich generation,” individuals who have the dual challenge of raising children while at the same time looking after parents or other aging relatives.
Recognizing the potential impact, industry and thought leaders stepped in to refine and elevate the concept. Dr. Nikki and Chris Buckelew of Seniors Real Estate Institute, along with Julie Davis, Marketing Project Manager at Concordia Life Plan Community, offered invaluable feedback and guidance. Their expertise helped shape The GIFTTM into a structured workshop, complete with public presentation formats. “Without their leadership, this effort would not have been possible,” Marilyn acknowledges.
The origin of The GIFTTM traces back to those experiences Marilyn had as Power of Attorney for her Aunt Jessie. “When I was still working full time, my uncle died, and Aunt Jessie asked me to be her POA because she had no children. I said ‘yes,’ and we met with a local attorney who had created her trust.”
Initially, the responsibilities were minimal, as Aunt Jessie was independent and active. However, as her needs increased, so did Marilyn’s involvement. Weekend trips to check on her aunt, manage medications, and handle groceries became routine. Weekday visits to doctors’ appointments became necessary. “As I began to represent her interests officially, I needed proper legal paperwork (copy of POA, etc.) in hand,” Marilyn explains. The process also involved the delicate task of decluttering. “The work included incremental steps of ‘getting rid of stuff.’ ‘Do you know someone who could use this perfectly good blouse?’ Oh yes, and I would take it-sometimes to a person I knew, but more frequently to Goodwill.”
The initial outline of The GIFTTM proved to be a powerful tool for sharing knowledge. Marilyn began presenting to churches, small groups, and individual families facing similar caregiving challenges. She was also invited to participate in a panel at the Buckelews’ Senior Living Truth Series, where she shared the outline with a wider audience.
Judy Akins, a long-time friend and Mercy Vice President of Communications, recognized the value of The GIFT™ and recommended marketing it. Estate Planning Attorney Rick Martin also encouraged Marilyn to continue offering the program, noting that it streamlined the trust process by ensuring decisions were made in advance.
Collaborating with Danny Eischen, CEO, and Julie Davis at Concordia, Marilyn further refined the workshop, holding initial sessions at the community. Reverends Lewis McClain and Norman Behymer, pastors who understood the growing need for caregiver support, also contributed to the development of The GIFT™.
Once fully developed, Marilyn transferred the ownership and copyright of The GIFTTM to VillagesOKC (VOKC). This decision solidified The GIFT’s role as a vital planning tool for VOKC members. It would become the cornerstone resource for VillagesOKC.
Once Dana joined VOKC, she became an integral part of The GIFT’s evolution. Attending workshops with her mother, she took ownership of improving and expanding the program. “Once Dana came to work at VOKC, she attended GIFT workshops with me and began to take full responsibility for its improvement and growth,” Marilyn says.
In short order, Dana became program manager for The GIFT™. Working with Marilyn, the VillagesOKC executive director, and other team members, Dana continued to refine the workshop. While the core 12 categories remained, she refined the questions and prompts, introduced new graphics and promotions, and added local guest professionals to each session. These professionals, focused on providing information rather than making sales, offered valuable insights and resources.
Dana also expanded the accessibility of The GIFT™ by offering workshops at multiple locations and times, including evenings, weekends, and virtual sessions. She implemented facilitator training and extended the program to other states, even presenting at the Village to Village national conference.
Plans are underway to develop a weekly streaming session online for convenient access to all ages at a nominal fee. Currently, workshops are 90-minute sessions held once a week for four weeks with periodic all-day sessions. In person workshops have been held at locations across the Metro, including banks, churches, independent living retirement communities, home health agencies, one hospice, two funeral homes, community centers, co-op working spaces, insurance agencies, assisted living communities and the VillagesOKC office in Bethany.
Since 2019, The GIFT™ has benefited more than 500 individuals. It provides prompts and questions, acts as a filing cabinet in a notebook, and offers opportunities to connect with trusted local professionals. As a complimentary benefit for VOKC members, it allows individuals to attend repeatedly, ensuring they stay informed about updated laws and forms.
“Pastor Lewis McClain, an only child, used The GIFT™ personally, found it invaluable when he was still working, caring for both parents at the same time and had so many difficult decisions to make. Having the GIFT allowed him to hand off the notebook so another person could lighten his load and take care of one or two items for him because they had the proper information and paperwork.” Marilyn explains.
Through a mother’s dedication and a daughter’s innovation, The GIFT™ has transformed from a simple binder into a powerful tool for navigating life’s complexities, offering peace of mind and a legacy of care.
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About VillagesOKC
We are empowering adults to age with vitality and purpose. When communities and businesses prioritize the health of older adults, everyone wins. At VillagesOKC, we do our part by encouraging life-long learning, planning, serving and connecting – helping our members successfully age in the place of their choice. Our events, workshops, and more help members build stronger relationships among those 47-107 while supporting the OKC community.
About The GIFT™
The GIFT™ Workshop (Gathering Information for Transitions) is an interactive workshop exclusively from VillagesOKC. During this, we talk through difficult questions, learn about your options, and write solutions for the “What Ifs” in the future.
The GIFT™ Workshop is an interactive, hands-on program designed to guide participants through 12 essential areas impacted by a move, crisis, or major life transition. Over four 90-minute small-group sessions, participants will be equipped with the tools to document vital information and personal preferences, culminating in a family meeting to effectively communicate their plans.
The sessions cover:
• Session 1: Personal, Legal, and Medical • Session 2: Financial, Insurance, and Real Estate • Session 3: Living Options, Daily Living, and Crisis Planning • Session 4: Home Health, Hospice, and End-of-Life Decisions
Each participant receives a binder and USB drive to securely organize and store their information, both physically and digitally. Local professionals join the sessions to provide valuable resources and expert support.
You can learn more about The GIFT™ Workshop at www.TheGiftWorkshop.org.