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Bill Howard’s imagination soars with one mystery and investigation after another. Juanita Howard has a new cookbook, “Grammy’s Favorite Recipes, a Seventy-Year Collection.”

by Vickie Jenkins

Bill Howard is a retired Oklahoma City businessman and former minister. Now, he is a published author of 3 mystery books, “ Rick Wade: Investigations,” “The Case for Sarah” and “A Time to Reap.” The unique thing about Bill is the fact that he began writing his first book in 2013 at the age of 83 and is almost finished with his 4th book.
“I have always felt like I needed to be busy, doing something or producing something,” Bill comments. “When I was young, I spent a lot of time reading. I remember my grandmother gave me my first book and it was a mystery. After that, it seems like that was the only kind of book I read. At first, it was the Hardy Boys and then the Nancy Drew series and as I got older, I advanced to the Perry Mason books. I didn’t have a lot of my own books, but there was a small school library and a small town library. I was only interested in mysteries.”
Asking Bill how he came about naming the main character in his first book, “Rick Wade,” he replied, “I have a friend with the name of Rick and a friend with the last name of Wade so I guess I had those names on my mind,” he replied. “A lot of the characters in the book are named after some of my friends.”
Bill does admit he gets writer’s block sometimes but it doesn’t last long and he is ready to go again. “The stories just come to me and then, it takes off. You have heard the saying, flying by the seat of your pants? I write by the seat of my pants,” he says with a laugh. “Where do you get your story ideas?” I ask. “I just pull them out of the air,” he says. “ I actually think I read so many books over the years, the stories just flow out.”
“After Bill writes his stories, I go through and edit his work,” Juanita says. “I’m good at words and she is excellent with punctuations,” Bill adds. Bill is not the only author in the family. Juanita has written a cookbook, “Grammy’s Favorite Recipes, A Seventy-Year Collection.” “I decided to write a cookbook since my kids were always asking for a recipe,” she said. “I gathered the recipes, put them in a book, sharing the recipes with others. “Are you planning on writing another cookbook?” I ask. ‘No, not now, I’m staying too busy,” she replies “I am enjoying spending time with my family.”
Bill’s hobbies include reading, writing and watching movies. Bill is also a fantastic artist. A modest man, Juanita holds he r cell phone, showing me some of his art work that is hanging in their house. “No painting lessons, just a few painting tips from one of his friends,” Juanita says.
“What inspires you every day?” I ask Bill. “Oh, it is definitely my faith and my beliefs and my religious connections. Juanita and I start every morning by reading God’s Word. I want to be the best Christian, husband and best father I can be.”
Asking Juanita, to describe Bill’s personality, she replies, “Bill is just wonderful and enjoys the simple life. He is very thoughtful and caring and always thinks before he speaks. He is definitely a problem solver and he gets things done.” How does Bill describe Juanita? “She is the most thoughtful, caring person I know. She is always looking out for the other person. She is involved in church activities and is always helping someone out. It seems like people are drawn to her. She is such a sweet person,” Bill replies.
Both Bill and Juanita agree that faith is the most important thing in their life. “I am a big believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. We are both faithful and honest and we trust each other in everything,” Bill comments as he gives Juanita a little pat on the hand. “We live a simple life and a God-fearing life. We are both very happy,” Juanita adds.
Bill and Juanita Howard reside right outside of Shawnee, Oklahoma. Their blended family consists of eight children, sixteen grandchildren and thirteen great grandchildren. If you are interested in purchasing their books, please contact Vickie at hevn_writer@cox.net.

Dr. Kiersten Weber, a podiatrist with the Harold Hamm Diabetes Center, checks Elizabeth Hixon’s foot. Hixon, who has diabetic neuropathy, discovered a wound on her foot following a day of shopping. Even minor wounds like Hixon’s can become serious in patients with diabetes without proper care.

OU Experts urge awareness and proper foot care for those with diabetes

Most of the time, a simple bandage can heal a wound, but one Oklahoma woman discovered it would take a lot more to heal the wound on her foot, a problem concealed by the absence of pain.
It is an all too common story in the world of diabetes care and one that could lead to amputation if ignored. The experts at the Harold Hamm Diabetes Center at the University of Oklahoma know it well. With proper awareness and foot care, though, limbs and lives can be saved.
Elizabeth Hixon had no idea she had injured her foot on a recent trip to the store. She was focused on buying gifts. Hixon works year-round preparing presents to bring Christmas smiles to more than 60 orphans. It’s her way of honoring her kidney donor, a young, single mother of two children. On that day, though, another shopping trip for gifts ended with an unsettling discovery.
“I came home and took my sock off and my foot had blood on the bottom of it,” Hixon said.
The sock was soaked in blood, but she had felt no pain. Why? Hixon got her answer from Kiersten Weber, a podiatrist with the Harold Hamm Diabetes center.
“Unfortunately, it is very common. Elizabeth, having diabetes, also has neuropathy,” Weber said.
Neuropathy is nerve damage that can trigger numbness.
“When someone has lost that feeling, he or she may continue to walk and have no idea that an injury has happened,” Weber added.
People who have diabetes, like Hixon, are at increased risk for neuropathy. Combine that with reduced blood flow to the feet and they are also at greater risk of developing ulcers and infections that are difficult to heal.
“The complications that people experience can be devastating. In fact, the number one cause for hospital admissions for people with diabetes is foot deformities or foot infections. So I don’t think people realize how problematic a complication involving your feet can be in terms of your overall well-being when you have diabetes,” Weber said.
She also pointed out that these complications that occur in the feet are almost always preventable. In addition, early diagnosis and care is critical to protecting your foot, your leg and ultimately your life.
Weber said diabetes is the number one cause of lower extremity amputations.
To make matters worse, a lower extremity amputation puts the patient at risk for even more problems in the future.
“When somebody has an amputation, the risk of a second amputation within five years is 50 percent. The mortality rate in these patients also goes sky high as high, if not higher than some cancers,” Weber said.
Those facts did not escape Hixon, who had already seen what can happen when a wound gets out of control in someone with diabetes.
“I have a sister-in-law who is a diabetic and has lost a foot and a leg,” she said.
Hixon was determined to do all she could to help her foot heal and to avoid future injury.
Diabetes experts know proper foot care is critical for those living with diabetes. That includes checking one’s feet regularly for changes.
“Daily activities that I always try to stress, similar to brushing your teeth every day, include examining your feet. Every day, it’s important to look at your feet. I know that sounds simple, but especially when you’ve lost that feeling you have to use your other senses – your eyes and your hands – to examine your feet. You’re looking for sores, open wounds and any areas of discoloration,” Weber said.
Hixon now examines her feet religiously each and every day, keeping an eye out for any new calluses, bruises or cuts.
“You want to make sure you don’t get a toenail infected or something that would be a minor problem for anyone else, because it can be major for a diabetic,” she said.
Weber also fitted Hixon with custom-made shoes that aid healing and offer additional protection. She advises all patients with diabetes never to go barefoot.
Under Weber’s care, Hixon’s wound healed in just two weeks. Because of the nerve damage, though, the risk of another injury will always be there, and Hixon said she is not only taking all precautions, she urges others she knows with diabetes to do the same.
Meantime, she is back to shopping and wrapping hundreds of gifts, many purchased by her and some donated, that she and her husband will deliver in December to a home for orphans.

Photography and Text by Terry “Travels with Terry” Zinn  t4z@aol.com

Hotel Mousai is worlds away from the ordinary upscale all-inclusive resort. The high rise column of luxury accommodations, nestled on a juggle covered mountain side, is indeed a world away from expectations. In fact, lunching or cocktail imbibing or swimming in the roof top infinity pool (one of three in the Mousai complex) one can hardly believe they are not on the French Riviera, or at some exotic South East Asia retreat. Surprisingly, Hotel Mousai is only a moderate nonstop plane ride away to the destination popular Mexican resort of Puerto Vallarta. Puerto Vallarta is named as one of the friendliest Mexican towns.
The roof top pool at the all adult Mousai is accompanied by another infinity pool half way down the mountain side, where again, food and beverage and the uninterrupted vast exotic ocean side horizon embracing the soul. Down by the ocean is the sister accommodation of the Garza Blanca family friendly resort where again a pool with food and beverage service is accompanied by a modest white sand beach, complete with access to jet skis and kayaks.
Upon your greeting with a cool refreshing towel, and a cool beverage perhaps made of green tea and fruit, you are adorned with a ribbon bracelet which identifies you as an honored Hotel Mousai guest, and grants all-inclusive privilege throughout the compound. No tacky rubber or paper bracelet but a handmade braided ribbon, which is an example of the details that exist to accentuate a guest’s stay.
You may be assigned your personal butler, acting more like a second concierge than a room assistant, to guide you during your stay and perhaps accompany you to your high rise, ocean view room. Here be sure and detain your host to explain in detailed the plethora of digital light switches and other amenities. Here you will find your touch control switches to open and close two sets of panoramic curtains, the playing of a variety of music, in addition to several lighting configurations, including sedate illumination of onyx décor and a more conventional room temperature control. Of course a traditional TV remote is a welcomed companion to the super wide screen, complete with CNN and a few English stations, mounted on a wood and mirrored wall. The pristine maintenance of that wood and glass mosaic to the everyday accumulation of salt sea breezes and fingerprints is unimaginable. But such are the details you’ll witness.
Besides your room’s dual shower and dual sinks atop massive onyx bases, a Jacuzzi may adorn your balcony view, where you may also enjoy room service dining or an addictive retreat to a large welcoming hammock. Submerged in your gentle Jacuzzi you may forget that this is another infinity designed pool.
The complex offers several all-inclusive restaurants. A favorite is the morning terraced breakfast option off the main lobby, which converts to Oriental dining later on and of course offers beverages. While during the off season of summer you may dine at, Hiroshi, Blanca Blue, BocaDos STK, Aquazul and the Terrace without reservations, and let your whim be your guide. The attentive staff at this relatively new hotel have been hired for their friendliness and personal affinity for the guests, and maybe not so much for their previous hotel experience. A forward thinking hotel management philosophy.
The additional cost Spa is an over the top experience, offering several types of hydro therapy, a variety of creative massages (Ever had a Tequila wrap massage?), and salon complete with expert manicures and pedicures. Of course there is an upscale and extensive work out facility, with again that beautiful vista you come to expect.
With all of your resort needs filled at the complex, it may be hard to pull yourself away to take a tour of the town of Puerto Vallarta. If you have never visited before you will find the everyday seaside resort a touch of old Mexico mixed with touristy venues, and some good dining experiences. Your tour provided by the hotel may include a Tequila tasting with stops near the famous ocean side views of the movie location of Night of The Iguana, along with a brief stop at a quaint village called “Mouth of the Tomato.”
An added convenience is the frequent hotel shuttle trolley to take you up and down the mountain side to your various venues, or a golf cart can also be arranged. This is a detail appreciated by seniors and all who what an ease of access. All in all Hotel Mousai is fit for an out of this world contemporary James Bond experience, and/or for you requiring the best in exotic resorts. For more information and your reservations: http://www.hotelmousai.com/ or Goggle Hotel Mousai.

Mr. Terry Zinn – Travel Editor
Past President: International Food Wine and Travel Writers Association
http://realtraveladventures.com/author/zinn/
http://www.examiner.com/travel-in-oklahoma-city/terry-zinn
www.new.seniornewsandliving.com – www.martinitravels.com

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How did you get to school when you were young?  Fountain Brook

“I drove a car to and from school at the age of 14.  We only had the one car so I would drive it home for lunch so my dad could have it and then, I would walk back to school which was a long walk.” Cecil Hewitt

“I walked to school in elementary.  I walked with some friends in junior high and in high school, I rode a trolley car.” Rosemary ‘Skip’ McDonald

“I lived way out in the country and I would have to walk across the land and cross creeks to get to school.  Sometimes, one of the teachers would pick me up and I would ride with her.” Helen Mayer

“In grade school, it was 2 blocks away and I walked.  In junior high, it was 7 blocks away and I walked.  In high school, I rode the bus.” Mickey Tyo

Barbara Charlet, International Market Development Coordinator, Oklahoma Department of Agriculture, Food and Forestry (ODAFF), and renowned Oklahoma chef Kurt Fleischfresser were in Stuttgart, Germany for an in-store promotion at Feinkost Bohm. They are shown here in late September, demonstrating Oklahoma products.

A taste of Oklahoma made its way to the palates of shoppers in Germany during recent promotions in two cities.
The Southern United States Trade Association, which promotes the export of U.S. food and agricultural products, included Southern Okie’s line of fruit spreads, Suan’s line of Scotch Bonnet jellies and preserves and Pepper Creek Farms BBQ sauce in its mix for in-store promotions.
The first in-store promotion was held near the end of June at KaDeWe, a high-end upscale department store in Berlin. The latter was in late September to early October at Feinkost Bohm, a store with a deep history, located in the heart of Stuttgart.
Barbara Charlet, International Market Development Coordinator, Oklahoma Department of Agriculture, Food and Forestry (ODAFF), and renowned Oklahoma chef Kurt Fleischfresser were in Stuttgart for the in-store promotion from Sept. 20-27.
“A buying team from Germany traveled to Oklahoma and Texas in January of this year for the purpose of identifying and selecting products for the two-week in-store promotions,” Charlet said. “In Germany it takes a buyer and an importer combination. So the importer, Claudia Beckord, and the buyer or the retailer, Alexander Frank with KaDeWe, came over in January.”
Oklahoma products such as Griffin Foods, for more than 15 years, and Clements peanut butter, for at least five years, have been staples in Germany at certain retailers, according to Charlet.
However, these in-store promotions marked the German debut for the products of Southern Okie, Suan’s and Pepper Creek Farms. That makes it even more important that shoppers are given the pleasure of sampling the products, according to Charlet.
As added support, Fleischfresser made the trip to participate in the promotions at Stuttgart.
That opened another opportunity.
“The store in Stuttgart offers food only,” Charlet said. “In addition to being high-end deli, high-end cheese, at one end of the store they have just a lovely restaurant and at the other end of the store is a sushi bar and they are both packed. Knowing that Kurt was going to come and lend a little support to this in-store promotion, they asked him if he would design a Southern menu. So he designed two of them, one for each week of the promotion.
“So the week that we were there he worked with the chefs at this restaurant so that they would know how to prepare it. It was a pork chop with a nice sauce on it and a pumpkin dessert with pecans on it. Then he worked with them at the end of the week so that they knew what to do with the second menu.”
Charlet said the ability to export internationally is important for various reasons.
It is important to those companies that already have their products on the shelves in other countries.
“It’s also important for those wanting to expand their business,” she said. “So for example, Suan’s is doing well here in the United States, but it just gives her another opportunity to showcase her product to see if she can get additional sales.
“That’s our bottom line is just trying to make something happen for these companies so that they have another stream of income.”
For more information about pursuing international markets for your food and agricultural products, please contact, Barbara Charlet at ODAFF, Barbara.charlet@ag.ok.gov or (405) 522-6192.

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Date/ Day/ Location/ Time/ Registration #/ Instructor

Nov 4/ Wednesday/ Norman/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 691-4091/ Palinsky
Fowler Toyota – 4050 N. Interstate Dr.
Nov 5/ Thursday/ Okla. City/ 9:30 am – 4 pm/ 951-2277/ Edwards
Integris 3rd Age Center – 5100 N. Brookline, Suite100
Nov 7/ Saturday/ Chandler/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 258-5002/ Brase
First Methodist Church – 122 W. 10th
Nov 10/ Tuesday/ Midwest City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 691-4091/ Palinsky
Rose St – 6191 Tinker Diagonal, room 102
Nov 10/ Tuesday/ Yukon/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 350-7680/ Edwards
Dale Robertson Center – 1200 Lakeshore Dr.
Nov 12/ Thursday/ Norman/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 440-8802/ Palinsky
Norman Regional Hospital – 901 N. Porter Ave.
Nov 13/ Friday/ Okla. City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 752-3600 or 478-4587/ Reffner Mercy Hospital – 4300 W. Memorial Rd.
Nov 21/ Saturday/ Okla. City/ 9 am – 3:30 pm/ 486-1385/ Edwards
Epworth Vila Retirement – 14901 N. Penn.

The prices for the classes are: $15 for AARP members and $20 for Non-AARP. Call John Palinsky, zone coordinator for the Oklahoma City area at 405-691-4091 or send mail to: johnpalinsky@sbcglobal.net

The Country Music Singers Association of Oklahoma, aka, The CMSA, was established in 1993 by Dan and Jan Barton and six friends. The motto of the group was to “Promote Oklahoma Grown Talent” by providing where entertainers and music lovers could enjoy Country, Gospel and Bluegrass music.Anyone was welcome to audition or participate as a member.
The love was obvious for all performers regardless of experience and ability.The purpose was to educate and encourage entertainers at every level,to develop every aspect of their performance in a safe,supportive and loving environment.Vice President,John Fisher started a CMSA Gospel Show which is free to the public and continues as a community service.
CMSA was granted 501-C3 status in 2009 expanding their ability to network with other non-profits. As a result CMSA partnered with The Toby Keith OK Kids Corral and The Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals.
John Fisher became President and CEO in 2012 with Kevin Tatum as his Vice President. When John passed away after a long battle with Leukemia, Kevin Tatum assumed the position as President and CEO and continues to work to fulfill the vision of countless members and entertainers who have poured their hearts and lives into this great organization. The CMSA continues to offer free workshops,vocal clinics,and guitar lessons to the public.
CMSA is also proud to offer three scholarships every year to highly qualified students who are working toward a degree in some facet of the Country,Bluegrass, or Gospel Music industry. Whether their goal is performing, teaching,producing, or anything pertaining to keeping the music alive. That’s The CMSA of Oklahoma, that’s what we do.
CMSA also became part of the North America Country Music Assoc. International. Every March this NACMAI provides an international competition in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee at The Country Tonite Theater. Music industry professionals evaluate the performances of competitors from all over the U.S. and several other countries. It’s an opportunity to perform on a large stage in a professional setting and learn which aspects they need to improve. It’s an invaluable learning experience and a chance to to network with performers from other states and make lasting friends from all over this Country. The CMSA holds a State Competition every year with highly qualified judges to evaluate each performer to determine their readiness competition. An Awards Show is held to announce the results. CMSA of Oklahoma continues in our commitment to supporting, promoting and educating Oklahoma grown talent.

September 15, 2015—The 14th annual Oklahoma City Conference on Reformed Theology (OKCRT) presents a series on the “I am” Biblical texts focused on The Alpha and Omega, Gently and Lowly, and Light of the World. Keynote speaker-Carl Robbins, Woodruff Presbyterian Church senior pastor will speak 7:00PM-9:30PM on Friday, October 23th and 9:00AM -12Noon on Saturday, October 24th. Heritage Presbyterian Church 14500 N Western, Oklahoma City will host the event and free childcare is available with reservations. There is no charge for the event but registration is requested at www.OKCRT.com.
Robbins is an Oklahoma City native and a graduate of Crichton College and Covenant Theological Seminary. Having served as pastor in several churches, he is currently senior pastor at Woodruff Road Presbyterian Church in Simpsonville, South Carolina. Beyond local church ministry, he has served on the board of crisis pregnancy centers, Christian schools, and seminaries; as well as writing a weekly blog and training pastors in developing countries.
There is more information at www.OKCRT.com or contact 405.751.7681 or OKCRT405@gmail.com.

Dear Savvy Senior,

I need to find some help with selling my elderly mother’s house – where she’s lived for almost 50 years – and relocating her to an apartment or condo closer to where I live. Can you recommend any businesses or services that specialize in helping seniors relocate?

Dear Overwhelmed,
The process of selling a house and moving to a new home, or downsizing to a condo, apartment or senior housing facility is a big job for anyone. But it can be especially overwhelming for seniors who are moving from a long time residence filled with decade’s worth of stuff and a lifetime of memories. Fortunately, there are several specialized services available today that can help make your mom’s move a lot easier.
Real Estate Specialist
To get help selling your mom’s home and/or finding her a new one, you should look into hiring a Seniors Real Estate Specialist (SRES) or a Certified Senior Housing Professional (CSHP). These are realtors that have received special training, making them better equipped to help seniors and their family members through the financial and often complex emotional issues that can come with selling a long time family home and relocating.
SRES and CSHP designees are educated and knowledgeable in such areas as downsizing, aging-in-place, senior housing options, reverse mortgages, as well as ways to use pensions, 401k accounts and IRAs in real estate transactions. And, if you need help from other professionals, a SRES and CSHP can put you in touch with qualified home inspectors, movers, attorneys, CPAs and other experts.
To learn more or to locate a professional in your area, contact the SRES Council (sres.org, 800-500-4564) which also offers a free “Moving On” guide that help seniors and their family members with the decisions and transitions that come with moving. And to find a CSHP see SeniorsRealEstateInstitute.com.
Moving Manager
To help your mom get packed up and move, you should consider hiring a “senior move manager.” These are organizers who assist older people with the challenges of relocating, and can minimize the stress of this major transition by doing most of the work for you.
They can help your mom pare down her belongings, decide what to take and what to dispose of, recommend charities for donations and help sell her unwanted items. They also get estimates from moving companies, oversee the movers, arrange the move date, supervise the packing and unpacking, have the house cleaned and just about anything you need related to her move.
Costs vary depending on the services and size of the move, but you can expect to pay between $1,000 and $5,000, not including the cost of movers.
To locate a senior move manager visit the National Association of Senior Move Managers website at nasmm.org or call 877-606-2766. You can also search at Caring Transitions (caringtransitions.com), the largest senior relocation and transition services franchised company in the U.S.
But, before you hire one, be sure you ask for references from previous clients and check them. Also find out how many moves they have actually managed, and get a written list of services and fees. And make sure they’re insured and bonded.
If you can’t find a senior move manager in your area, another option is to hire a certified professional organizer who specializes in downsizing and relocating. To find one, check the National Association of Professional Organizers who has a searchable database on their website at napo.net.
Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.

By Greg Schwem

“Celebrity Apprentice” fans, don’t despair. Yes, your favorite show might be on hiatus now that NBC has severed its relationship with Donald Trump. But, should the apocalypse occur and The Donald becomes our nation’s 45th chief executive, expect to see the program return … to the White House.
This seems like a natural move for Trump, who touts his deal-making and mediation skills as cornerstones of his candidacy. For years we have watched him assign tasks to teams of individuals with varying backgrounds, thought processes and talents. He sets deadlines, listens to the results, peppers the players with questions and then chooses whatever option he thinks is best.
Think about it: Isn’t that kind of what the president does when our nation faces a major crisis?
Since Trump is convinced he is going to be elected, I’m sure he has already laid the groundwork for season one of “Presidential Apprentice.” In January 2017, shortly after he takes the oath of office, expect a cast of political experts, innovative thinkers and celebrities to assemble in the newly-named TRUMP! Rose Garden and await their initial task.
“Welcome, everyone, to what I’m sure will be a very exciting season. You have been divided into two teams. I have chosen Spanish team names as part of my ongoing efforts to repair relationships with the Latino community. Egotista features Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Ben Bernanke, Amy Schumer, Kanye West and Hillary Clinton. Hillary, nice to see you. No hard feelings, right?”
“Whatever.”
“Now meet your opponents, Pomposo, consisting of Colin Powell, Marco Rubio, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk and Gary Busey. Gary, great to have you back.”
“Pleased to be back, Mr. Trump, er, Mr. President, I mean, Your Royal Highness. I’m sorry, where am I and why am I here?”
“Great questions, Gary. Teams, as you know, there were feuds in the Middle East long before I made my first billion. Your task is to achieve peace. I’d do it myself – and I’m certain I could – but I’m spending the next few days balancing the budget. And believe me, when I’m done it will be the GREATEST, most SUCCESSFUL budget this nation has ever seen. So I’m entrusting you. My secretary of state, Ivanka, will update me on your progress. Now go back to the East Room and choose your project managers. I’ll see you in the Oval Office one week from today, where somebody will be fired.”
(ONE WEEK LATER)
“Ivanka, how did they do?”
“Well, Egotista chose Kanye West as project manager.”
“Ben Bernanke, do you think that was a good move?”
“From a fiscal standpoint, no. He demanded his own jet to fly to the West Bank. So we were over budget before negotiations even commenced.”
“Interesting. Pomposo chose Mark Zuckerberg. Elon Musk, why did you do that?”
“We chose Zuck because of his experience getting people to ‘like’ each other. Really, it was a no-brainer. Sort of like purchasing a Tesla if you’re serious about energy conservation.”
“Mark, how do you think you did?”
“Too early to tell, Mr. President. I’ve set up Facebook pages for the Israelis and the Palestinians, and encouraged both sides to hear each other out through blogs and targeted posts. I’ve also put Colin Powell in charge of moderating comments.”
“Excellent. Amy Schumer, how did you help your team?”
“I didn’t have a lot of time, Mr. President. I was busy appearing on the cover of, and being interviewed by, every magazine still in operation.”
“Neil DeGrasse Tyson, your thoughts?”
“I did even less work than Amy, Mr. President. But only because, as I tried to explain to Kanye, the moon, stars and other celestial bodies will never line up in such a way that makes peace in the Middle East possible. That’s a fact.”
“Estoy de acuerdo.”
“Excuse me, Marco?”
“That’s Spanish for ‘I agree.’”
“Good point. Egotista, you’ve left me in a tough predicament. Kanye, you showed zero leadership skills. And Amy, you were worthless. But I’m going with my gut here.
Hillary, you’re fired.”

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