By Richard Stephens, staff writer
Vernon and Betty Urban have shared a lot in their 95-plus years.
Senior News & Living (SNL) asked Vernon and Betty Urban: What are the keys for a long, successful marriage?
Vernon. Never go to bed mad.
SNL. So, I failed that one already.
Vernon. Well, we kind of fail it ourselves once in a while – but it’s a good practice.
SNL. How important are things like compromise, honesty, respect and fairness in a marriage?
Betty. Super important.
Vernon. I think honesty is top notch myself.
SNL. Anything else?
Betty. And we went to church every Sunday.
The Urbans shared their life story on Sept. 15, Vernon’s 96th birthday, in their apartment in Moore. Betty is 95 years old. They were engaging, talkative and expressive, clearly enjoying each other’s company with laughs and shared stories. They frequently looked at each other.
SNL. When did you renew your marriage vows?
Vernon. Well, we’ve done 25 and 50 both and 70. And then 75.
A Marriage Worth Celebrating
They renew their vows at St. Andrew Catholic Church in Moore. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, only .0016% of marriages make the 75-year mark.
Their three daughters, Veronica Gabriel, Barbara Goss, and Carol McCoin organized a celebration at their retirement center. Vernon recalled, “Well, we told the girls, no big parties.” They organized one anyway, bringing 100 family members and fellow residents together. Betty simply said, “It was beautiful.”
Getting to Know You
SNL. You met Betty on a blind date in February 1951 while stationed at Tinker AFB. How did it go?
Betty. We liked each other. And he talked about his folks, about mom and dad…So, he was really nice and we just had a good time together.
They double-dated, went to a movie, enjoyed a soda afterward and Vernon drove Betty home.
Vernon. I was so afraid of girls, I never talked to them…Never had a date. I don’t think we kissed on the first date. Do you remember?
Betty. I don’t think we kissed on the first date.
Vernon. I wasn’t about to ask her for a kiss…I didn’t know how in the hell to kiss (laughing).
Vernon fell for Betty right away. After she agreed to a second date, he said, “Oh my God. I’m so in love with her.’”
SNL. What’s it like to be in love at almost first sight?
Vernon. It’s unbelievable. I can’t even tell how magnificent that is,” he said, his voice raising. “If it could happen to everybody, that would be something. I couldn’t wait to see her again.
They had a lot in common, including growing up on farms: Betty’s was in Calumet, while Vernon’s was in Topeka, Kansas.
Married, Then Separated
Air Force Airman Vernon had a problem, though. He was being transferred to Nagoya, Japan, in two weeks. The couple decided to marry before his departure, with Betty’s father giving his permission. On Aug. 11, 1951, they wed. On Aug. 30, Vernon departed. While separated, they wrote letters to each other every day.
Starting a Family
Vernon transferred to Perrin AFB, Texas, in February 1953. That December, Veronica was born, a real blessing because a doctor once said Betty would never have children. Three more blessings came when Bradley was born in December 1955 (now deceased), Barbara in December 1956, and Carol in September 1963.
Work Suited to Their Talents
Over the years, Vernon voluntarily transferred among 30 jobs, taking on increasing responsibilities across several professions, including the Frisco Railroad, Federal Aviation Administration (GS-14), American Automobile Association, and Oklahoma Tax Commission.
After the children entered school, Betty became a Licensed Practical Nurse and worked at Oklahoma City’s Bone and Joint Hospital and Palatine, Illinois’ St Joseph Home For the Elderly from age 40 to 67.
Retirement
The Urbans vacationed on a motorcycle across the United States and Acapulco, Mexico; flew to Washington, D.C. and Las Vegas in a small airplane piloted by Vernon; camped in an Airstream with friends in all 50 states and Canada; and Vernon restored multiple classic cars. Betty remarked, “We did everything we wanted to do and then some.”
Carol summarized. “They’re great. They have done everything. They have been everywhere. You know, they’ve had tons of friends. They’re just amazing people and they were amazing parents. We were so blessed to have them.”
The Urbans have seven grandchildren and a lifetime of experiences to look back on.
Epilogue
Here’s wishing Vernon and Betty continued health and happiness over the next five years, until they can renew their marriage vows once again for their 80th anniversary.
