By Tamara Cain, Attorney and Estate Planning Educator, Cain, Cain & Janik
Q: How much should I tell my children and other family members about my estate plan?
A:This is a question we hear all the time, and there isn’t one answer that’s right for every family.
At Cain, Cain & Janik, we can explain the law, help our clients understand their options, and counsel them about different planning strategies. But our clients bring something to the planning process that we can’t: they are the experts on their own families.
They’ve raised their children, watched them grow, and know their personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and relationships. When clients share that knowledge with us, we can help them think through where each person might best fit into the estate plan. Who would make a good trustee? Who is best suited to handle financial matters? Who could thoughtfully make difficult health care decisions?
I believe the best estate planning happens when we put those two kinds of knowledge together. We bring our knowledge of the law and years of experience helping families through disability, death, trust administration, and estate settlement. Our clients bring a lifetime of knowledge about the people they love. Together, we can create a quality plan neither of us could create separately.
Once the plan is created, the question becomes how much of it to share.
That’s a personal decision. But after 35 years of practicing law, I’ve seen that people who are prepared for their roles generally serve in them more confidently and effectively. They don’t need to know everything you own or how much it’s worth. But it helps to know they’ve been chosen, what’s expected of them, how the plan is intended to work, and where to turn for guidance.
That’s why we offer Family Orientation Meetings to our Estate Planners for Life™ clients. If our client selects this option, we meet with our client and their family to explain the plan, who’s been selected for various roles, and what those responsibilities involve. We don’t disclose assets or financial information unless the client chooses to do so. The purpose is preparation, not financial disclosure.
And perhaps it’s because it’s September in Oklahoma, but there’s a pretty good football analogy here.
Every player who takes the field has an assignment. The quarterback knows his job. Receivers know their routes. The offensive line knows whom to block. Those assignments aren’t handed out at kickoff. Players learn their roles beforehand and understand how they fit into the team’s game plan.
Families deserve the same preparation. When the unexpected happens, no one wants to be reading the playbook for the first time.
And even the best players need a coach. Your children may be smart and capable, but most people will administer a trust or settle an estate only once or twice in their lives. We help families through these situations every day. Having experienced guidance when questions arise can make an enormous difference.
Good estate planning isn’t just about preparing documents. It’s about preparing people and making sure they’ll have guidance when they need it most.
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For more information about estate planning call Cain, Cain and Janik at 405-364-2246 or visit www.EstatePlannersforLife.com.
